So, Nathan asked me what I was thinking about

. . . and it led to a very lengthy and interesting discussion about prayer. I’ve written about this before in the context of loss. Today’s thoughts and subsequent discussion opened it up again for me.

During two of my semesters during college I took a theology class. For each topic that we studied and discussed, we had to write a paper explaining and defending our position on different theological issues. One of the papers that was assigned was on prayer. I wish I remembered the exact question that was addressed but I didn’t save my papers. I think we wrote about what the point of prayer was. If I learned anything during that series of classes, I learned that the answers were never as black and white as I originally thought. I hated that about the class and I loved that about the class.

Back to the point of the post. Prayer.

My brother-in-law, Tim, has been writing on one topic a day on things that he has learned since the death of his father. Yesterday’s entry was about prayer and how his approach to prayer had changed over the last year. He had some great things to say and that’s why prayer was on my mind when Nathan asked me what I was thinking as we were driving home today. Mostly, I had a lot of questions that I was mulling.

What is the point of prayer?
Do things really change because we pray?
Is my car going to run better because I pray about it?
Why does God say, “yes” sometimes and “no” other times?

And these questions quickly led to discussions on why bad things happen. It’s impossible to fully discuss the implications of prayer without discussing the fact that bad things happen. And they happen even though God has the ability to stop them from happening.

Or does He? I believe He does. That’s what makes the conversation so hard.

Which leads to another question. Why did God make a world where we could experience such pain when He could have made it otherwise? He’s God. Isn’t part of the definition of God that fact that he can do anything? (I sure wish I saved my notes from my theology class). My short answer is that it’s about relationship, but I’ll leave that for another post.

As of this very moment, today, this is what I think I know:

*We pray because we’re told to. It’s part of being obedient.
*Prayer should be more than a list of requests, it’s also about being in a receptive position to hear what God has to say to us.
*When we pray and ask God for His intervention in our life, we are acknowledging that He is the one who is ultimately in control. The outcome is in his hands.

This are the hard thing I think I know and you may not agree with:

*His reasons for saying “yes” or “no” have to do with what will bring Him greatest glory and accomplish His will for our lives. (I think) That’s basically what I wrote here.

I guess my point of bringing it up again is that, even though I haven’t changed my earlier conclusion, I’m not sure I really like it. Does that make sense? I hesitate to even say it because I feel kind of guilty about it. I’m still learning what it means to take the long view on things. To view things “in light of eternity” is not easy. I want to prefer His greatest glory over every thing, but I’m not there yet. I want to get there. I want to want to get there.

As Nathan and I were discussing how God answers prayer, I thought about Rachel. Hello, Rachel (waving)! Rachel and her husband prayed to have a child. Mother’s Day was a reminder of that unanswered prayer. God chose not to answer their prayers to conceive. A year ago they adopted a beautiful son. So much of their journey was painful and difficult, but their story is really beautiful because of the “long view”. I suspect that, in the middle of struggling with not having a baby, some days they would not have been feeling very receptive to the message that, “God has a better plan for you that will bring Him even greater glory”. As I was mentioning this to Nathan as we drove in the car, I started crying. I don’t know why, but just thinking about their story of how God made them parents and brought that family together touched me. Painful and emotional ups and downs tied together with a bow of redemption(not that there was anything easy about the process or that life is perfect now). A little boy who didn’t have a whole and healthy family, now has one. He is their son in every sense of the word. Because of the “no” that they received in answer to their prayers, they went down a path they might have not previously considered.

I’m still confused about how this works with free will and living in a fallen world. Does every bad thing that happens occur because, in some way, it’s going to accomplish God’s will and/or I didn’t think to pray about it? I’m not really sure about that. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Sorry this is sort of disjointed and all over the place. Thanks for sticking with me.

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