The last two years have been a season characterized by loss and change. In January of 2008, my mother died very suddenly. She was only 58 years old. To say that her death rocked my world would be an understatement. There is no way to sufficiently describe what that meant to me as a daughter and a mother of 2 young children. Shortly before my mom’s death, Nathan and I had been thinking about having another child. After losing Mom, I couldn’t even imagine having a baby that didn’t know my mom. About 8 months later, we changed our minds. Having a baby seemed life-affirming and it was what we were planning before anyway. We found out on October of 2008 that we were expecting a baby. We were thrilled, but I was so sick. I was sick for the first half of my pregnancy. It made me miss my mom so much. There is nothing like feeling sick to make you want your mom. By God’s grace and lots of help from my husband, we survived those days. I enjoyed a couple months of good health and then I found myself on bedrest for two months. I felt scared and alone. Our first child, Ethan, was born 6 weeks early and Audrey was 3 weeks early. Thankfully, I was able to carry our baby to term and gave birth to our third child on June 3, 2009. Isaac was perfectly healthy. We were so thankful, but I felt completely wasted from the last 17 months of changes and challenges. Nathan and I decided it was time to leave our church and look for one closer to home and I started a period of time where I was not involved in leading any ministries at our church.
Almost 6 months have passed and it’s time for a new season. I’ve agreed to help teach the women’s Bible study Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore and Kay Arthur at our church. We’re not using the DVD’s. A friend and I will be the ones doing the teaching. I’m excited and terrified at the same time. I believe that God has something big to show me through this. I think I’m ready.
